New Start

This morning was perfect.

I woke up an hour early refreshed and it was quiet.   After two weeks of extreme heat for the Northwest, the cloud cover is a welcome change.  I was happy to be up before the construction guys started.  I didn't feel groggy or sleepy.  I finally felt peaceful enough to get out of bed and to sit in my cozy green chair to write my morning pages.

Boy did I have a lot to write about.   I had some pretty intense dreams last night.  They were good.  Lot's of mental sorting and lessons.  Ex's came into my dreams that normally would have made me sad.  Not last night.  There was nothing but the feelings I had when we were together.  With one person it was the feeling of constantly having my boundaries crossed and ignored.   I don't want this person back in my life.  I never liked how much they took over in my world and just walked all over me.  I am sure they never meant too but they did.  It was like a bulldozer.  A selfish narcissistic bulldozer.   The other person was only in my dreams for a moment and it revolved around me putting my life on hold for them.  Our biggest issues was me fighting to keep my dreams moving forward while we were together.  I was determined not to disappear like my previous relationship but this caused issues because they wanted me not to work so hard, not to focus so much on school, not to network as much.

But then I woke up and thought.  That isn't me anymore.  I don't have any connection to these people anymore. I can dream about the past and it no longer hurts me.   I am free of both of these people.

Progress!

I also sat with the realization that I will soon be waking up without an alarm clock when I am coaching full time.  I will be able to spend my first hour of the morning writing, having a cup of tea and embracing the sunrise.   I will be relaxed all day because I have faith that the universe is providing me with exactly what I need.  The best part, this new chapter is not very far away.   I can see it becoming reality everyday.  I can feel it every morning I wake up and feel so much gratitude and love.

Today feels like a fresh start and I hope everyone has similar feelings because we all deserve to wake up this peaceful and happy.  It is such a great way to wake up!