Trying To Put It Into Words

I am trying to put what this weekend has meant to me into words and frankly..... There are none.

I am bone tired.  I am broken open.  I am at peace. I am trusting the Universe.  I am secure.

These are just a few of the things that I am feeling at this moment.   There are so many layers to what I just experienced.

I took a chance and went to Hannah Marcotti's Laughing Loon retreat in Maine.   It was something that half of me kept saying No too.  But my Spirit kept saying yes.

I am so glad I went.

Right as I was leaving town I found out my current job is pretty much over.   I kept thinking.  I should not go to the retreat.  But then my spirit would pop up and say, if you miss it, you will regret it for the rest of your life.

And she was so right!

I arrived on Thursday just exhausted.   I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually drained.   I knew some of the ladies so I had people to hold me.  But I was also very out of my element.

By Thursday night I was in bed early and slept all night long.  No waking up.  No noise could have woken me.    And I was Freezing!  I had not put enough blankets or warm clothing on Thursday night.  I was shaking from the cold. 

Friday morning out of the blue I received an email with the start of salary discussions about my dream job.  Yep. From no job Wednesday night as I head to the airport to let's get this other job moving.  It was a huge turn of events.  And one I needed.

It turns out I was staying in a cabin with three incredibly talented and successful women.   And they were able to hold me as I cried, I laughed and I finally started to realize my self worth.   This is not something that comes easy to me.  I work very hard but often never feel successful.   These women flipped that thought in my head so hard.    It was life changing!

I got it.  I got this.   

My life is forever changed thanks to this weekend.    After my hot seat chair I socialized a bit more and then went to bed.   The next morning I was exhausted.  I didn't want to leave my bed or my warm cabin.   I had dreams of writing my book in a cabin in the woods.  I nestled in for a couple of hours of alone time.  Then when the sun came out I spent an hour in the lake.    I needed to cleanse.  I needed water.  I need quiet time. 

I needed to celebrate me!

It's so hard for me to celebrate me.  It feels like trying to move a mountain.   But it's long over due.

Saturday night was our last night there.  And then I had to pack and return home last night.    I am still working to process the whole experience.   I am still in shock and awe that I will be moving soon.  That I got my dream job and that I get to grow my company.   

I am so blessed, grateful and grounded in these next steps in life.   

This Full Moon Is All About Relationships

If there was ever a time when I needed a hug it would be this week.  Nothing bad has happened.  I am just feeling the upcoming full moon and reflecting on relationships in my life.
I am feeling out where I want to be more vulnerable and beginning to understand the people I want to be vulnerable with.   Sometimes knowledge like this requires endings.  Or changes in status.

This is where I need the big hug!

My life is becoming one where I need a strong inner circle of friends.  I need to be able to be weak, vulnerable and silly with them.  I need to be able to make mistakes and not be judged.  I need at times someone to coach the coach.  Not everyone can be this for me.   It's been a hard lesson for me to learn.

But as I grow my company and my dream, I am starting to realize the most amazing people are showing up as I become more authentic and live my dream.   These women are strong and beautiful. They see me, believe in me and can hold me.  Faults and all.   They don't snap at me or tear me down.
I am leaving town tomorrow for 4 days on the East Coast.   I will be at a beautiful lake with 35 women celebrating life and community.   I will be setting some intentions in nature. I will be spending time with friends from my Blue Moon retreat and I will be meeting new people.  I will be loving, crying and growing.   And I will be happy because I will be planting more seeds to manifest over the next couple of months.

I am truly grateful for my life.

http://hannahmarcotti.com/2015/05/21/laughing-loon-retreat/

These ladies have my heart

Thank you Kristin Davis and Hannah Marcotti for this amazing weekend and photograph!

What a delicious weekend.  I spent the last 48 hrs. with these women nestled into the Loft.  We connected, shared and opened up.  It was powerful and beautiful.   I am so grateful and blessed to have met these beautiful women and felt safe and powerful enough to announce my truth to them.

This was a long needed trip to connect with like minded people.   It was also a huge step forward for my company and my new career.  

Lift up weekend at the loft

I am on the east coast for a women's circle for this blue moon full moon and I could not have picked a better place to be.

Lessons, release, love, release.... Magic

These are my themes this weekend.  

Release.  Come home to my authentic self.  I am so inspired to be here right now.  

More to come......

Calm

While I build my dream around Ritual Coaching I must keep my day job.  At this point in my life I don't mind having to work two jobs.

I am grateful for my current job.  I truly am.

And yet, I can feel this new life building.  I can feel the excitement and the energy behind the work I am being called to do.  I can see it in my client's faces after our sessions.  I can feel it in their hugs.  I know I have found my life's purpose.  I know it because after every session I have with someone I feel peace, love and gratitude.  I am learning as much as my clients.  I am doing the work right along with them.  It's not the same work.  But I am doing work.  We are all evolving and working on things.  I just happen to have discovered a way of tapping into something that has made my life more magical and peaceful and I want to share it with everyone!

I am going to spend Sunday working on a vision board.  There is a lot I want to do this next year. There are a lot of places I want to go to grow Ritual Coaching.  And to infuse new energy into my life.  I need to dream more and take to the vision board to work on it. To bring forth some yummy images of what comes next.

I do know that in 1 week from today I will be flying to the East Coast for a long weekend.  I am going to Boston, Salem and Providence.

Most importantly I will be meeting Hannah Marcotti in person and spending a weekend at the loft!  I am so excited to circle with these amazing and powerful woman and to set the intentions for Ritual Coaching.   I have been part of Hannah's Magic Making Circle for the last six months and I absolutely love it.   I will sheepishly admit I have not had as much time and focus as I have wanted to have for a program of this caliber.  But I am a believer.  The friends I have made from her work and the insights I have received from doing her prompts have changed my life.

I will also be going to Salem on the Blue Moon this month.  This is a special treat for me.  I believe in magic and I believe in the power of women.  Salem has always intrigued me.  The blue moon is the second full moon of the month and is always potent.  When I booked this vacation I had no idea these things fell together but now that I look back I think, of course I picked the blue moon to travel back East. Of course I am flying in early so I can go to Salem on the Blue Moon.  

Because Magic is all around.  If we slow down, we let go and we just do.  We will realize we are not in charge at all.  And this is the most beautiful thing to realize.