Taking to rituals

This last week has been creative.  I have been digging into my soul like soil.  Working through the changes and creating rituals every step of the way. 

I am changed.  

And yet, I am still the same.  My life is exactly the same.  Farmers market Sunday's, Friday night cocktail night with the gang, parties on Saturday night.  I still talk to the same people.  See the same faces at my grocery store. 

But my soul is different.   My spirit is different.   The artist is back. She is magical and in creative mode.  She is ready to prepare for the next phase.   To build up this energy and call in the right next steps. 

Let's see where she takes me!

Trying To Put It Into Words

I am trying to put what this weekend has meant to me into words and frankly..... There are none.

I am bone tired.  I am broken open.  I am at peace. I am trusting the Universe.  I am secure.

These are just a few of the things that I am feeling at this moment.   There are so many layers to what I just experienced.

I took a chance and went to Hannah Marcotti's Laughing Loon retreat in Maine.   It was something that half of me kept saying No too.  But my Spirit kept saying yes.

I am so glad I went.

Right as I was leaving town I found out my current job is pretty much over.   I kept thinking.  I should not go to the retreat.  But then my spirit would pop up and say, if you miss it, you will regret it for the rest of your life.

And she was so right!

I arrived on Thursday just exhausted.   I was mentally, emotionally and spiritually drained.   I knew some of the ladies so I had people to hold me.  But I was also very out of my element.

By Thursday night I was in bed early and slept all night long.  No waking up.  No noise could have woken me.    And I was Freezing!  I had not put enough blankets or warm clothing on Thursday night.  I was shaking from the cold. 

Friday morning out of the blue I received an email with the start of salary discussions about my dream job.  Yep. From no job Wednesday night as I head to the airport to let's get this other job moving.  It was a huge turn of events.  And one I needed.

It turns out I was staying in a cabin with three incredibly talented and successful women.   And they were able to hold me as I cried, I laughed and I finally started to realize my self worth.   This is not something that comes easy to me.  I work very hard but often never feel successful.   These women flipped that thought in my head so hard.    It was life changing!

I got it.  I got this.   

My life is forever changed thanks to this weekend.    After my hot seat chair I socialized a bit more and then went to bed.   The next morning I was exhausted.  I didn't want to leave my bed or my warm cabin.   I had dreams of writing my book in a cabin in the woods.  I nestled in for a couple of hours of alone time.  Then when the sun came out I spent an hour in the lake.    I needed to cleanse.  I needed water.  I need quiet time. 

I needed to celebrate me!

It's so hard for me to celebrate me.  It feels like trying to move a mountain.   But it's long over due.

Saturday night was our last night there.  And then I had to pack and return home last night.    I am still working to process the whole experience.   I am still in shock and awe that I will be moving soon.  That I got my dream job and that I get to grow my company.   

I am so blessed, grateful and grounded in these next steps in life.   

This Full Moon Is All About Relationships

If there was ever a time when I needed a hug it would be this week.  Nothing bad has happened.  I am just feeling the upcoming full moon and reflecting on relationships in my life.
I am feeling out where I want to be more vulnerable and beginning to understand the people I want to be vulnerable with.   Sometimes knowledge like this requires endings.  Or changes in status.

This is where I need the big hug!

My life is becoming one where I need a strong inner circle of friends.  I need to be able to be weak, vulnerable and silly with them.  I need to be able to make mistakes and not be judged.  I need at times someone to coach the coach.  Not everyone can be this for me.   It's been a hard lesson for me to learn.

But as I grow my company and my dream, I am starting to realize the most amazing people are showing up as I become more authentic and live my dream.   These women are strong and beautiful. They see me, believe in me and can hold me.  Faults and all.   They don't snap at me or tear me down.
I am leaving town tomorrow for 4 days on the East Coast.   I will be at a beautiful lake with 35 women celebrating life and community.   I will be setting some intentions in nature. I will be spending time with friends from my Blue Moon retreat and I will be meeting new people.  I will be loving, crying and growing.   And I will be happy because I will be planting more seeds to manifest over the next couple of months.

I am truly grateful for my life.

http://hannahmarcotti.com/2015/05/21/laughing-loon-retreat/

Today is dreamy

I am in this state of bliss.
The world is a little more beautiful today.  My life is a little more sweeter.  My dreams are a little bigger and closer than ever before.

I am so happy about how Monday went.   I am feeling truly blessed in life.

Every interaction in life is going deeper than I ever thought possible.   There is this magical reason for my every step.
Things get postponed for a reason.  Things come to me for a reason.   I am making use of what my life is like right now to get closer to where I want to go.

And I am so fucking GRATEFUL!  

I have never worked so hard in my life.   I have never been so busy and so fulfilled.  I have never been so happy and alive and authentic.

Yesterday there were hummingbirds and feathers all around me. Signs that I am not alone in this world.   I had people share with me kind stories of how the work I am doing is changing their lives.  Truly authentic stories of people around me changing one at a time.   My heart was exploding with happiness.

I even had a friend write me to say he wished he could have my enthusiasm for life.   I said it's not just mine.   All I did was add a formal into the mix that seems to be working for me.
It has made me love life in a way I never have.   It has made me so grateful and full of joy.

We were also talking about how Garden State came out 10 years ago.   I was flooded with memories of my life 10 years ago.  How miserable I was.   I was in a dead-end life.  I felt like I was slowly dying via quick sand - but it was slow sand.   I was in a terrible relationship with someone so cruel and absent.  My best friend was dying.  I felt stuck, miserable and like I deserved this hell because I was not worthy of anything  else.
I remember watching the movie and listening to the music just screaming on the inside, this is not what my life is supposed to be like.  Do not settle for this small world.   I kept dreaming of the exact life I have right now.  I felt so unhappy and uncomfortable in every way.   And my spirit kept yelling that I deserved my dreams and so much more.

Fast forward 10 years and WOW.  This is exactly what my life is supposed to be like and there is more to come. Magic is back.  My dreams are manifesting.  I am about to embark on an amazing adventure to the mountains and my dream job and soon I will be traveling the world bringing ritual coaching to many more lives.   This is the bigness I always knew I could create.   This is the balance of magic and real life I always knew I wanted.  And I get to teach and bring magic to people's lives.  I get to share all of this with people.

I am so fucking GRATEFUL!

My Heart Is Full

Last night was one of the best nights of my life!

Seriously.

I hosted my first new moon ritual coaching event last night and  I had 11 women show up.   More importantly, I had 11 women show up for themselves.  They each planted seeds for change in their lives.   I was able to guide and witness the start of this.   I am so excited and proud of the work we did together.

And I am excited for my own life change.  

One year ago my life looked very different than it does now.  And I am not even close to where I want to be. But I am so much closer than I was before.  
Magic truly does exist and is the most beautiful thing I have ever been a part of.  

I will be scheduling more in person events and I am starting to plan a weekend retreat soon.    So many changes happening.  So much goodness and so much MAGIC.

Big Changes - Beautiful Changes

I am on the verge of some big changes.  I can feel it.  
I have never felt more relaxed and sure of myself.

Two very interesting sentences together.   Normally changes cause fear, panic and unhappiness. But these changes I have been working with since last November.  These changes have been the basis of my rituals every few weeks for almost a year.  These changes feel like coming home.   Everything I have been doing and thinking has brought about these exciting changes.  Actually, my whole life has brought me to this point.  Because these changes are rooted in who I have been since I was kid.  
It's just that I finally let my authentic self come forward and the Universe is meeting me half way.

I am also learning the fine art of letting go the need to control, be right or live in ego.   I have been working with this lesson since my spine injury and I find that my life has gotten easier with every opportunity to practice this lesson.   Now I am being presented with people that want to live that way in my life and I am not having it.  I don't want to be controlled, have someone force what they think is right on me or allow their ego to rule our relationship.   It simply won't work anymore for me.

So I am letting go and just keeping my side of the street clean.   I know the kind of people I need and want in my life.   And they are showing up like never before.   My heart is so full!  

New Moon Ritual For September - It's all about facing your fears!

New Moon Ritual for September

All about facing your fears to bring in the new

This new moon is different. I can feel it.  It’s not about calling in the new in a traditional sense.  No, that would not be practical enough for dear Virgo.  This new moon is all about facing your fears so that you can release them to call in the new.   Sounds fun right!

Or not.

But that’s the theme this week.  Facing your fears, facing your shadow.  Being tested by taking you right to the edge of your dreams and then stopping.  Placing you right on the  verge of your dreams and then making you sit in the uncomfortable moment right before you jump.  And holding you there so that you really understand that manifesting is not just a grocery list of items you want in life.  Walking this life is all about trusting yourself and the Universe enough to take that leap of faith knowing you will be supported the whole way.

And guess what?

That moment is scary!   There is no net that you can see,  there is no turning back and the other side suddenly looks very far away.  But if you can heal that fear, if you trust that you will make it safely to the other side then you will feel joy and excitement on a level you never knew possible.  

You just have to heal those fears and that shadow side.  You need to turn to faith and divine timing.  You need to uncover what is causing this fear and release it so that the new life can come in.

So for September let’s write down our desires on one side of the paper and our fears on the other side.  Let’s compare these two statements.   Then let’s write down our desires with a statement that calms the fear and flips it.     Let’s soothe these fears.   Burn the desire list that is full of your fears!  Release it.  Then save your desire list that has the new loving statements alongside the desires.  This is going to be your guiding light for the next month.  

I would also buy or make a special candle to have for this month.  Everyday light the candle for a few minutes a day and read the new list.  It will help you let go of the fear.  

The Future is Calling

I never thought my life would be so exciting!

I have a phone call with a dream company in a few hours. A life changing opportunity more aligned with my soul's purpose.  Also an opportunity that aligns with my company. 

There is so much excitement and fear all wrapped up into this new life I am moving towards.  I am showing up in the world in a very authentic way which is so scary.  What if being authentic back fires?  What if I fail?

But if I sink into the fear what I come away with is that this is exactly where I need to be.  Living the most authentic life possible.  Living my dreams and helping people create theirs.  

It's all about Divine Timing. 

Divine timing works at it's own pace.  It can't be rushed. It does not answer to modern day schedules. Divine timing  is in charge and knows what's best.  It's the most frustrating part of magic but also the most beautiful part because if you give up control and keep your vision clear, then divine timing comes in and creates the life you want in a way that is even better than you could imagine. 

I am sitting here in this space of waiting.  Of trusting.   Of facing my fears and trying to not run away.

I am sitting on the edge of a life changing decision and I am ready to take the leap. 

When The Magic Comes Back

August was interesting.

And somewhat exhausting.  I had so many lessons coming down from the Universe that it felt like the month would never end.   So many endings.  So many deep lessons from within.

But this weekend it all changed.

I woke up Saturday morning early.  It finally cooled down here in Seattle and was raining. I decided to take myself out for coffee in the early morning to write.  I needed to balance myself out and the only thing I know that truly allows me to feel balanced is writing.  As I was enjoying my Italian coffee and sparkling water, I realized what I wanted to do the most on Saturday was spend the day in silence working on my vision board.   This is a cork board I had bought myself in March but had yet to do anything with.
Saturday I was moved to finish it.  I wanted my vision of my future to finally be put down in images.
I went to the store and bought some magazines and went home to work on my project.  Chai Tea, my porch door open while the rain came down and silence.  It was perfect.  I felt so inspired by the images I was cutting out.  They feel so real.
I completed the board and hung it up on my wall.  It's so different than if I had completed it in March.  It's so much more authentic and on point.  I have shed so much since March and have gotten very clear on what I want my future to look like.

Right after I finished the board and lit my magic dream candle next to it, I saw a text from my favorite astrologer.   It said something like - the story from March is done.  You are now ready for the future.

Whoa!

I looked up the date from March in my journal and saw that this was the exact weekend I bought my vision board cork board.  And yet, it took me until this weekend to complete it.   I had so many lessons to learn. And I needed to get clear on what my vision for my future looks like beyond just "success".

I spent the rest of the day in a magical space as I realized when I just allow myself to be guided by magical timing.  That everything ends up making sense and there is a reason for it.
I could not finish the vision board until this weekend because it would not have been authentic. I would have questioned what I put on it.
But now, if I even attempt to question my vision board, it does not feel right.  My vision board feels like my truth.  Not my critical ego mind.
But it took me until now to live this truth.

I am so happy the magic has come back in a big way.  I am ready for my transformation and to help more people.

Check out my client stories if you are interested in the kind of work I do with people.  It's the same work I am doing with myself.   We are all magical beings in this life together.

http://www.emilyamitchell.com/client-stories/

Ritual For This Creative Season

This last week has been roller coaster energy.  There have been so many lessons coming from the Universe.   Most of them have been good but some have been hard as well.   It has been a good but exhausting week.  A week where I was truly grateful it ended on Friday.

But then something beautiful happened.  I woke up Saturday morning in a delicious creative space.  I suddenly wanted to dream again.  I wanted to take my time this weekend reworking on my big vision in life.  I wanted to create new vision maps.  I wanted to write in a new journal.  I wanted to sit in silence.

What I realized in doing all of the above was thanks to all the work I have been doing this year on working on my vision of what I want to create in life, is that my vision is bigger and more beautiful than before.   I am expanding on all levels.  My world is becoming bigger and my dreams are closer than ever.

What a great dive into creative energy this weekend has been.  Now as we roll into the energy of the super moon, I can feel where Jupiter is ready for me to expand my life.  My creative juices are on fire. The veil between my dream world and my everyday world is thin and expanding all at once.

I am encouraging all my clients right now to dive back into your dream in a creative way.  Because your dream may not be big enough yet and right now the Universe really wants us to dream big!

Ritual for the Full Moon

Take the time in the next week to create a new vision board or dream journal.   Start with the old dream and add more to it.  More feelings, more details, more color!  How good could you stand this dream?  Then add more to it.  
Sit down with a special candle that you will burn from today to the night of August 29th.  Create this vision board with it.   Light it everyday and spend a few minutes each day thinking about your dream. Then start looking for clues that the universe is listening.  Because I promise the Universe is listening.  These signs could show up as feathers, grasshoppers, butterfly's, your favorite song, old friends coming back into your life, new friends, a delicious book that is just what you needed to hear. There are so many signs the universe likes to place in our path.  If we are listening, watching and expecting these  signs, we will see them.

So go out and get creative!

Missing Pieces

The last few weeks have been tough.  I am not going to lie.   Usually I can weather the storms but these last few weeks have been hard.  I have not had this hard of a time since launching my company.   I have felt uncomfortable in my skin.  Work situations have felt difficult.   I suddenly have been feeling like my life doesn’t fit me anymore.  It’s been painful.

And yet there have been good things as well.  I have this amazing support group of wonderful friends and clients.   I feel healthy and beautiful.   I have been having these amazing sessions with my clients.  It’s been confusing to have so much good with so much uncomfortable.

Then Tuesday night it was like a part of me returned back to myself.   I can’t really explain it any more than that.   I suddenly have a piece of myself that has been missing for almost twenty years.   I was flooded with memories and energy that felt like home but also like a long lost friend returning.   This piece me of was the young girl that always wanted to be a ritual coach.  I didn’t know what it was at the time.  I just knew I wanted to help people and live in a magical world.  But then high school started and I had to think about my future.  At that time the idea I could do things like Ritual Coaching as a real job did not exist.   

So this piece of me has finally returned.  I have spent the day amazed that she is back.   I am going to do some energy work this weekend to welcome her home.   I know having her back may change some things in my life but it will all be for the best.   Because she is truly pure and authentic.   She is my magic healer and magic maker.  She is going to change my life in a beautiful way.

Take some time today to think about what pieces of your spirit want to come back in.   Where does life feel uncomfortable?  Where are you blocking your true voice?

 If you spend some time thinking about this,  you will discover a diamond in the field of mud.  And you will be inspired to take the next step!

Harvesting Love - New Moon Ritual

Harvesting Love - New Moon Ritual

This new moon is all about harvesting love. The new moon also happens to fall on a day when Venus and the sun meet which is called a Venus Star Point. Which means this new moon is a great new moon to think about what your dream is for the next 8 years of your life when it comes to love and home. What does this look like. What will make your heart and spirit sing?
Spend some time this new moon thinking about what you have learned over the summer. What fears have come up? What painful situations have surfaced that need to be cleared out?

What do you deeply desire?

We have come out of the loss and struggle of the summer. The amount of energy required this summer has been exhausting! It’s now time to start harvesting these seeds we have planted. Let’s keep working on the vision. Think of the next few new moon rituals like pruning the new growth of your vision. How can you get even more clear on your vision? How can you align more closely with what your heart truly wants.

Friday night I suggest you wear something that makes you feel lovely, sexy or feeds your heart. You should have a meal that feeds your soul. You should light as many candles as you can because this new moon is all about fire. And you should write about what your vision for love looks like in your life over the next 8 years.

Does this vision mean you will be married? Single? Having a baby? Finally an empty nester? Does this vision mean you will be working for yourself? Does it mean you will be adopting new fur babies?

The point is, how can you create a life you truly LOVE?

Write two copies of your list and save one. Then burn one and watch the smoke go up into the air.
You are releasing.

There has been so much loss and pressure this summer. We all need to release. Release and trust that the universe has provided the nutrients needed to grow our intentions and that harvest season is upon us.

Juicy New Moon

It’s going to be a juicy new moon.   Thanks to the work I have been doing since the start of the new year, I am very clear on my vision for this new life I am creating and everything I set as an intention on New Year’s Eve is coming true.  Pinch me – I love this life!  

The new moon in August is the Lover’s moon.   Ohhhh one of my favorite topics.

Love and Business.

When I was at the loft I set my intention in this magical circle of ladies to combine my love wish jar and my business wish jar.   This has been happening over the last few months without my realizing it.   Before I arrived at the loft I had a couple of encounters with successful men that made me realize these two areas of my life need to combine into one big vision.  And since the blue moon, this is the perfect discovery and intention to focus on.   How can I weave these two dreams together?  How can I infuse love into my life more?  The energy right now is ripe for change and manifesting new visions in life. 

Where are you infusing love into your life?  How can you add it more to your daily life?   What would your life look like if you LOVED every part of it?

These are the questions that I am working on with my clients at the moment.  

We are also working on Power dynamics.   I have been getting deep into the question of power dynamics in relationships.   What’s my sweet spot?  What’s your sweet spot?  I keep asking myself  about what I consider power to be.   At first I answered this question by saying – success and having money.  But then as I dug deeper I realized power has many definitions.  And I need to be able to understand it more.  

This is something I am thinking about and will have more to talk about in future posts.

For now- I am going to do my intention work now between now and the lovers new moon.    

These ladies have my heart

Thank you Kristin Davis and Hannah Marcotti for this amazing weekend and photograph!

What a delicious weekend.  I spent the last 48 hrs. with these women nestled into the Loft.  We connected, shared and opened up.  It was powerful and beautiful.   I am so grateful and blessed to have met these beautiful women and felt safe and powerful enough to announce my truth to them.

This was a long needed trip to connect with like minded people.   It was also a huge step forward for my company and my new career.  

Lift up weekend at the loft

I am on the east coast for a women's circle for this blue moon full moon and I could not have picked a better place to be.

Lessons, release, love, release.... Magic

These are my themes this weekend.  

Release.  Come home to my authentic self.  I am so inspired to be here right now.  

More to come......

Blue Moon Ritual

Blue Moon Ritual  -  Release and Call In 

Over the last several months/weeks/years, you have been receiving little messages or small feelings of aching to change in certain area's of your life.
This blue moon is a giant exit sign asking you to release the old story and keep the focus on your big dream.

What area's in your life no longer feel comfortable? Where are you ready to bring in this new story? What needs to change within you?

On the 31st or starting on the 30th, make a list of what you are ready to release . Where are you yearning for healthy action? This is not a should list but a deep soul searching list of where you are ready for change.
I recommend making two copies. One to save and one to burn. As always, ask for this work to be done with ease. None of us need any more struggle after the last few months.

Let go, release and sit with it. This is powerful work we are doing.

Additional homework-

We have been working on our big dream over the last few new moons. So let's finish this big release with calling in the new story. Rewrite the big dream list with this new releasing energy. Some items may no longer feel right. Replace them with new items that make you want to dance from joy. Take time to think about this list after your magical release work. Really feel where your big dream is at this time. Rework the list and feel excited.
With a magical blue moon release like this we don't want to get stuck in the old story. We want to use this energy to propel us forward.

We won't have another blue moon for several years so let's release what no longer serves us and focus on what makes our heart and spirit feel loved and excited.

Calm

While I build my dream around Ritual Coaching I must keep my day job.  At this point in my life I don't mind having to work two jobs.

I am grateful for my current job.  I truly am.

And yet, I can feel this new life building.  I can feel the excitement and the energy behind the work I am being called to do.  I can see it in my client's faces after our sessions.  I can feel it in their hugs.  I know I have found my life's purpose.  I know it because after every session I have with someone I feel peace, love and gratitude.  I am learning as much as my clients.  I am doing the work right along with them.  It's not the same work.  But I am doing work.  We are all evolving and working on things.  I just happen to have discovered a way of tapping into something that has made my life more magical and peaceful and I want to share it with everyone!

I am going to spend Sunday working on a vision board.  There is a lot I want to do this next year. There are a lot of places I want to go to grow Ritual Coaching.  And to infuse new energy into my life.  I need to dream more and take to the vision board to work on it. To bring forth some yummy images of what comes next.

I do know that in 1 week from today I will be flying to the East Coast for a long weekend.  I am going to Boston, Salem and Providence.

Most importantly I will be meeting Hannah Marcotti in person and spending a weekend at the loft!  I am so excited to circle with these amazing and powerful woman and to set the intentions for Ritual Coaching.   I have been part of Hannah's Magic Making Circle for the last six months and I absolutely love it.   I will sheepishly admit I have not had as much time and focus as I have wanted to have for a program of this caliber.  But I am a believer.  The friends I have made from her work and the insights I have received from doing her prompts have changed my life.

I will also be going to Salem on the Blue Moon this month.  This is a special treat for me.  I believe in magic and I believe in the power of women.  Salem has always intrigued me.  The blue moon is the second full moon of the month and is always potent.  When I booked this vacation I had no idea these things fell together but now that I look back I think, of course I picked the blue moon to travel back East. Of course I am flying in early so I can go to Salem on the Blue Moon.  

Because Magic is all around.  If we slow down, we let go and we just do.  We will realize we are not in charge at all.  And this is the most beautiful thing to realize. 

New Start

This morning was perfect.

I woke up an hour early refreshed and it was quiet.   After two weeks of extreme heat for the Northwest, the cloud cover is a welcome change.  I was happy to be up before the construction guys started.  I didn't feel groggy or sleepy.  I finally felt peaceful enough to get out of bed and to sit in my cozy green chair to write my morning pages.

Boy did I have a lot to write about.   I had some pretty intense dreams last night.  They were good.  Lot's of mental sorting and lessons.  Ex's came into my dreams that normally would have made me sad.  Not last night.  There was nothing but the feelings I had when we were together.  With one person it was the feeling of constantly having my boundaries crossed and ignored.   I don't want this person back in my life.  I never liked how much they took over in my world and just walked all over me.  I am sure they never meant too but they did.  It was like a bulldozer.  A selfish narcissistic bulldozer.   The other person was only in my dreams for a moment and it revolved around me putting my life on hold for them.  Our biggest issues was me fighting to keep my dreams moving forward while we were together.  I was determined not to disappear like my previous relationship but this caused issues because they wanted me not to work so hard, not to focus so much on school, not to network as much.

But then I woke up and thought.  That isn't me anymore.  I don't have any connection to these people anymore. I can dream about the past and it no longer hurts me.   I am free of both of these people.

Progress!

I also sat with the realization that I will soon be waking up without an alarm clock when I am coaching full time.  I will be able to spend my first hour of the morning writing, having a cup of tea and embracing the sunrise.   I will be relaxed all day because I have faith that the universe is providing me with exactly what I need.  The best part, this new chapter is not very far away.   I can see it becoming reality everyday.  I can feel it every morning I wake up and feel so much gratitude and love.

Today feels like a fresh start and I hope everyone has similar feelings because we all deserve to wake up this peaceful and happy.  It is such a great way to wake up!

My Story - My Body

This weekend was perfect!

Sunshine, good friends, clients, parties on rooftop decks, watermelon water, lessons from the Universe and a wonderful photo sent to me this morning by a good friend to help cheer me up.

And now I need a day to just sit because so much happened in the last 48 hrs.  

One important lesson I learned this weekend was to check in with my body.  This sounds so simple but honestly. It's really not a simple thing for me.

Let me explain.

This weekend I met some new people.  I was having a great time getting to know them and I found myself telling funny stories about my love life.  But suddenly I started to noticed where I was feeling uncomfortable in my body and my spirit.  I was having fun but something felt off.   As we moved venues and kept hanging out someone asked me what I did for work.  I then started to tell them about Ritual Coaching and my practice.   All of a sudden the energy shifted.  I felt really comfortable.  I felt strong, beautiful and excited in a way that all afternoon I had not been feeling.   

I ran home to shower between parties and as I was walking down the hallway my guides pointed out to me -

Don't you feel the difference in how much better talking about your story felt than talking about Mr. Bigman's story?  It's time to stop hiding behind men and to really own your life.  It's time for you to shine and to notice what feels good and what does not feel good.   Only talk about what feels good.  Let go of what no longer feels good in your body.

And then I felt a rush of energy. Holy BATMAN! 

I can see how I did this with all my Ex's.  Their story became much more interesting in my life than my own story. So I would focus on them and give up on myself.   Every single time.

But as I was walking down the hallway I heard myself say this.

My story is interesting. 

It feels so good to finally embrace the fact that my story is interesting.  

This is very different than being a straight ego moment.  This is about the self love that I have been missing that is finally returning.  This is not to say I am the most interesting person in the world.  But this is to say that I am returning to myself and realizing how even in things as simple as friendly conversation, I am quick to give up on myself and deny my truth. 

Now comes the hard part.  Change.

I have a sadness today.  Because when I come to realize my story is more interesting than Mr. Bigman's story, I also realized I no longer want to be a part of his story.  I want my own story.  I want a man that is not tied up with an organization that rules his life.  I want a man that wants me for my story and wants to me meet me with his story.  

This sounds so cryptic I know.  But I can't really say much more than it.  His name is Mr. Bigman for a reason. 

So I have to integrate this lesson.  Let the feelings come up.  Let myself be sad about letting go of the old story while I call in my new story.  

Because my new story has me standing in my power and being surrounded by loving and wonderful people that love me for me.  

Inspiration

I am feeling inspired this morning!   

The Universe is whispering sweet messages of change and I can honestly feel my energy shifting.  I have outgrown so many limitations in my life lately.   I am really starting to see and feel the difference.   What was once painful but accepted as life feels wrong and no longer acceptable in my life.  

This is huge!

I am blown away by this realization.  I no longer have to hold onto things out of fear or self hatred.   I can set boundaries and standards and then decide who gets to be in my life.  Instead of feeling desperate, I am feeling confident about my life.  This has also changed my story.   I no longer feel the need to please everyone nor does anyone's opinion matter but my own and those I decide upon.   

Ground Breaking!

And then I read this wonderful article about the upcoming Venus in retrograde and it explains so clearly what I am thinking and talking about.   Venus is talking to us and showing us where we need to change.  She wants us to change in these area's in the most loving way.  That's why I adore Venus. She is not a fighter but that soft energy that is going to guide you to life changing realizations.  And she wants you to change with love and fun.   

So my weekend plans are all about love, friendship, magic and relaxing.

Venus Has Been Whispering To You. Have You Been Listening?

Venus has been coming to me the last two weeks and whispering lessons into my ear.  These have been uncomfortable and life changing.  Nothing dramatic or scary.  But they are big changes.   Venus has been gentle is showing me where I need to change.  Where my heart wants to grow and where I need to let go of my old story.  I love her for this.

On the eve of the new moon I slept for two hours.  But instead of being mad or grumpy at the lack of sleep, I am grateful.   Grateful for my peaceful home where I can listen to trains at night.   Grateful to feel the breeze coming up from the waterway between the lake and the sound.  Grateful for a large deck with a new canopy that allows me to be outside in a cozy space that I am building.  Grateful for a cold bath at 4 am with magical oils to soothe me.

This is where I honor Venus for whispering these lessons to me.  She has shown me lovingly where I can and need to change and that it is safe to make these changes.  It is safe to let go of the old and take that leap of faith.  I am so grateful that I can finally hear these messages and am ready to be guided by them.

I am also in full swing of meeting with my clients again.  It feels so good to be out of vacation mode and up and running in coaching mode.  I love all the changes my clients are working on.  I love the stories and images they send me.  And I love the fact we are not just connecting as people but we are connecting on a soul and energetic level. It makes my heart so very happy. I am learning as much from them as they are learning from me.

 

New Moon This Week and Radical Self Love

Can you feel it?

I definitely can feel the energy shift.  There are a lot of love and yummy feelings going on.  I am returning to magic and clearing my mind.  Things are opening up.

But there is also a side of reality setting in.  I have made big changes lately and this requires really letting go of things in my life that are no longer working.  And be letting go it means.  I must change and do the work.
Ugh.
Not my favorite thing but it's necessary.

Anything that feels uncomfortable has to leave.  I now realize that these situations are not going to change so I must step away.   This covers work, family, friends, lovers, money.   EVERYTHING is up for change.

So I am spending the next few days writing, reflecting and making lists of what I want to call in for my new life.  I can see it so clearly.

It's been a while since I did magic. So I am excited to be back in the swing of things.

This weekend  I spent  Friday night on a date with myself and Gala Darling's new book - Radical Self Love.   I am so glad I did.   The energy/astrology stuff is a little wonky for everyone right now and this book has help me make a couple of shifts that I have been needing.
Actually, it caused some MAJOR shifts for me. It was just what I needed.
I highly recommend it.  It is a great guide into magical life changing work. And it has content that even a seasoned magic worker needs to read.  It will be on my shelf for a long time.time.

Post Vacation

I took a much needed long vacation and my soul is happy.

I feel relaxed in a way I haven't felt in years.  I work so hard and love what I do but sometimes I forget that I need to recharge and just do nothing.

Plus, now I am ready to tackle a couple of huge projects and add more clients to my calendar.  I am ready to move to the next level in my company plans and I feel excited to take on this work.
And I return with a deeper love of my coaching.   I didn't plan it but all my clients reached out to me at the same time around the full moon.   It was beautiful and perfect!  

We don't realize how affected we are by the moon but now that I am working with clients on a regular basis, I can see it.  New moons and full moons cause shifts in people.  Including myself.

I have come back with a deeper level of self love and love towards my life.   I also have a feeling of peace and security that I have been missing for years.  The universe really is helping me.  I am being guided to this beautiful life and everyday is a choice to see it.

My heart is full!

Lady Luck New Moon

The new moon is on June 16th.

I am calling her lady luck.   She is a dreamer moon, a listening moon, a wishing moon.   She is asking you to write down your dream life then asks for a larger vision.  Set intentions that almost feel impossible and know that this moon is listening.   She is bringing a bit of luck that we haven't seen this year.   We are finally coming out of the intense wash cycle of life lessons we all have been in since last year.   We should have a clearer vision of who we are and what we want in life.  It might feel scary to put your BIG dreams on paper but this is the new moon to do.   Every big dream has small steps to making it happen.  This new moon is step one for manifesting your dreams and she is listening.


I have to admit that since living my life by the moons, I am so much happier.  New moon is for manifesting.  Full moon is for releasing.   It's a life cycle I have been craving for my whole life.  There is this balance in my world that I never had before.   I have such a clear vision of my life that everyday is an opportunity for miracles.


 

Summer Cleanse

This weekend was truly magical.

I spent the majority of my weekend on a nearby Island just enjoying nature.   I forgot how much I need to recharge sometimes.  The last few months have been so intense in terms of actions, meetings, lessons, newness, clients, products.... The list could go on and one.

Needless to say I have hit a wall for the moment.
I need to recharge.

In a couple of weeks I go on vacation for the first time in years.  I am counting the days down!   It will be good to be on the east coast in the sun and humid warm air. It will be good to see my family and lightening bugs.  

Mr. Big Man is coming up this weekend to see me before I leave town.   Friday's are quickly becoming my favorite day of the week.   My heart is happy.

Manifesting Times

Right now it feels like the veil is very thin.   I am noticing that my clients and myself are manifesting at a very fast pace.   Mostly good.   Some uncomfortable as we all have old energy to work through.  But all around magical.

It is really comforting to be working with such diverse clients because I can see all these common themes going on with each of them.   Right now it's all about integrating Spirit back into our lives.   I love this because I am doing it right along with my clients.  When you live from a spirit based center, you are in the flow and living up to your highest potential. 

Mr. Big Man showed up this weekend.  Actually, I manifested him showing up.   It's a funny story that taught me the lesson behind being as detailed as possible when trying to manifest.   I said I wanted him to show up unexpectedly and boy, he sure did that. But it was great to see him and be close to him.   It did also help me to realize that my energy is shifting.   I have this giant change happening in a few months and it requires me moving.   I am ready to take that leap again.    Nothing has been signed and the Universe may decide that it's better for me to stay in the NW.  I don't know.  All I do know is I am willing to do what I need to do to continue spreading the Ritual Coach message and to meet with clients on a daily basis because that's what makes my heart burst open in the best way possible.

So just remember. We are all manifesting at record speed right now.  Some is good.  Some is bad.  It depends on what energy you are putting out.   So decide right now on this full moon to release the old story and the old energy and move forward!  Move into the light and spirit filled energy that is all around us. 

That Inbetween Time

I am in that inbetween time when your big dream starts to manifest but it is not fully formed.   That time when you suddenly feel very uncomfortable to in your old life but you are not ready for the new one.   That place where you are just hanging out and waiting.

This is my least favorite place!

I have a dream.  It is coming but not until September.   But suddenly my Seattle life does not feel comfortable anymore.   I am tired of my job.  I am tired of the traffic.  And I am tired of watching my pretty little city turn into a California sister city.   I know this feeling.  This is the feeling I get when life is about to move me in a very big and different direction.
It's exciting but frustrating that I can't do it now!

This is where I get the whole summer to work on my shadow and faith.   I know the right thing will happen.  I know there is a reason why I am not leaving tomorrow.   I know this move makes me scared in a lot of ways.   I just want to rip the band-aid off instead of feeling these emotions.

And I am sad.   I love my life in Seattle.  I love my friends and my community.  There is an excitment here that I won't get anywhere else.  But this oppurnity is too good for me to pass up.  And it will take my company to the next 3 levels in a skip vs.  staying in Seattle and watching my company grow slowly.   So I am taking that leap of faith and jumping in.

But this in between time is hard!

Playing Big

This whole Playing Big is happening and I am going to need to get used to it.
I am suddenly thrust into success and soon the spotlight.   So much good is happening.   But it's also a huge leap from the shy introvert that I have become over the last few years.  Now I am in the spotlight and I have clients, fans and people that follow me. 

I am staying stable.  I released the ego a while ago and I know this is not about me.  It's about helping people.  It just feels very different in the best way possible. 

And to top it off.  I had a VP of a company I love reach out and say - we want you in whatever position you would like to do.  So what would you like to do?

Because I had been working with magic and my intentions I knew exactly how to answer that.  So it looks like I might be relocating at some point.

I love this life!

If Merlin Lived In Modern Times

I truly believe if Merlin lived in modern times he would work a normal 9 to 5 day job.   He would travel between the two worlds seamlessly.  He might even live in the suburbs.  He would infuse magic in everything he did but he would also realize that in order to live he needs to live with a foot in each world.   He would also do his work quietly.  He would change lives with everything he did but he would not make a show of it because at this point magic has such a odd place in our society.   We need to normalize it.  It isn't about material objects or success.  Magic is about inviting our spirits back into our lives and living in divine harmony.  It's about working with energy to experience what it is to be living at this time. It's about being human and magical all at once.

This is what I have been learning lately.   How to be magical while living a totally normal life.   I don't need to drop out of society.  I don't need to be famous.  What I need to do is to help people return to themselves and integrate magic back into their lives on a daily basis.  To let go of their old stories and to invite their spirit back in because our spirit is what we are all craving and missing.   And our spirit is what connects us to magic.

I am so in love with my spirit.  She has come back fully in the last few months and she is not leaving.  I have been spending my time getting to know her so that she will stay.  She is beautiful and fun and happy.   So happy!

New Moon

Since I started living my life by the moon cycles, magic is everywhere.  This new moon coming up on Sunday is a fertile new moon for growing your intention. It's earthy so I will be burying my intention in the dirt. It's in Taurus so connecting it with materials goods, career and success will give it an extra oomph.  But Taurus energy is also about strong commitment and loyalty so there is a connection to relationships and love. My favorite past partner was a Taurus. They have a sweet spot in my heart.

My intention will be about my company and the big dream that just appeared this week.  I can't talk about it yet until lawyers do their things and papers are signed.  So probably not until September. But I can talk about what I will be doing until then.

I will be setting the intention for what my vision is around this situation and then I will be letting go and trusting the right outcome will happen.
Yep.
 I will not be desperate or freaked out.  My energy will be confident and secure because I know the Universe is loving and magic is happening.   I know that I am doing my soul's work and I am being rewarded for it.  And I know that if it does not work out, I still have my company that I am building on my own. So I really am in the best position.

I am meeting with new clients daily and loving every moment of it. It fuels my heart and fills my soul to be able share with them with I have learned and created.  I get to build a vision for them while contributing to my vision.  I love hearing how their lives progress as they expand and grow into magic.  I love how each person is different and yet we are all human. 

How Good Can I Handle It?

This is what I am asking myself lately.   How good can I handle my life?  What if all my dreams came true?  What if when I did struggle, it was so minor in comparison to the good stuff that it meant I had to write a new story for my entire life as I know it right now?

Because that's exactly what is happening!

My dreams are coming true.  My struggles are so minor in comparison to the rest of my life.  And fear is no longer the main feeling I feel.  It has been replaced with gratitude, faith, excitement, love, compassion and trust.  And JOY!
The best part about all of this is I am practicing what I preach. I do rituals every week if not daily.  I live my life exactly how I am teaching others how to live. I am right there with them learning the shadow lessons and also realizing that there is so much beauty in this world when we create space in our lives for magic.

Don't be scared

Don't be scared.   This is my lesson for today.   I have been presented with a possible giant business offer/partnership that would change my company and my life.
And what do I feel?
Gratitude, excitement and fear.   Yep.  FEAR! 

My shadow is coming out.  Why would I fear this?  
I am so used to things not working out.  I am so used to my magic not working.  I am used to the struggle.

But this story is changing.   I am changing.  My magic has come back more powerful than ever.  I have done the hard work to allow good luck to be the normal thing.  I feel like I past the test of my dark night of the soul!  It was 14 years of darkness.  But I came out into the light.

I have so much writing to do around this today.  I just want to say that the universe is truly magical.  

Pure magic.

Welcome

A clean slate.  A fresh start.

My life's purpose.

A few months ago I was gifted by the Universe with insight into what I know is my life's purpose.  I thought I would take it slow to introduce it to the world but in the last few weeks the Universe has made it know that it's time for me to go public.

So here I am.  Here I stand ready to start this new journey.  Ready to move forward and announce to the world that I live a very magical life and I want to help you live one as well.
The beautiful thing about magic is that it is firmly rooted in the practical and everyday normalities.  In our current times, there is no ways someone like Merlin could survive.  Our society would never allow that.  But if we slow down, if we center ourselves and start to create room in our lives for rituals and magic. If we do the work that we need to do to assist the Universe in co-creating, that's where the magic happens.  That's when we suddenly realize that magic does exist in our lives. We just have to invite it in and make room for it.

I made room for magic and my life will never be the same.